Deal or Ordeal? The House Sitting Edition

Are you ready to play Deal or Ordeal? Actually, you're probably playing already.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, stressed-out dogs and annoying cats, I'd like to introduce you to an astounding, life-altering game called Deal or Ordeal!

What is this game, you ask? This is a game of life, a game of making choices, anticipating outcomes, and ultimately winning or losing. In fact, you're probably playing it right now. 

Come again? 
Throughout the game, you are presented with various scenarios. You must maneuver through these scenarios, take correct action and ultimately identify each as either a Deal or an Ordeal. 

Ok, so what do you do? 
A round of play can begin at any moment: over your morning coffee, on your drive home from work, or upon receiving that cryptic 1:17 am text message.

The player is then presented with a scenario. Through a combination of conscientious choices and circumstances beyond the player's control, the player's scenario develops into either a Deal or an Ordeal. 

Ready for an example? 

Scenario 1
Free Couch on the Side of the Road: Deal or Ordeal? 

Deal: It's amazing! It's wonderful! It's free! Take it home and love it forever. 

Ordeal: It's amazing! It's wonderful! It's free! Call up that friend with a truck and convince him/her to help you move your amazing, wonderful, free couch. After transporting said free couch by way of borrowed truck, discover that you have to remove your front door to fit the unwieldy piece of furniture into the house. After much lifting, maneuvering, and angling, it turns out that your beloved free couch simply will not fit. Also, your friend with the truck curses your name and refuses to answer phone calls for the next four months. 

Great! I think you've caught on. This week's scenario is: 

Scenario 2
House Sitting: Deal or Ordeal? 

Deal: Getting paid to hang out, eat someone else's food, water some plants, and basically enjoy a stay-cation 2.3 miles from your own home. 

Ordeal: House sitting a passel of nervous, pooping animals who may or may not do the following: 

• Nearly bites the hand that feeds him. (Hamster) 
• Uses the laundry room sink as a personal bathroom. (Indoor Cat) 
• Uses the whole upstairs as a personal bathroom, multiple times. (Dog) 
• Travels from window to window, repeatedly batting at her own reflection. (Indoor Cat)
• Does the above at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 in the morning. (Indoor Cat) 
• Requires that the garage door be open just a crack. In the process of moving the door to the appropriate height, it apparently gets off its tracks, rendering the garage door opener useless. (Outdoor Cat/House Sitter) 
• Ate the other pet's predecessor and must be separated at all times. (Indoor Cat and Hamster) 
• Demands a litter box despite the fact that there are plenty of outdoor spaces at his disposal. (Outdoor Cat) 
• Jumps on the house sitter's face while she is trying to sleep. (Indoor Cat) 
• Weasels through every open door, disappears for a time, and eventually shows up again, preferably after the house sitter has fallen asleep, scratching at the door. (Indoor Cat) 
• Does not know how to eat celery properly. (Hamster) 
• Bats at the other cat's water bowl, causing the house sitter to spill the water, stumble into the garage, pull the door shut and lock herself out for the next 40 minutes. (Indoor Cat) 
• Stares at the frantic house sitter out the window as she feverishly tries removing screens and opening windows. (Indoor Cat and Dog) 
• Greets the house sitter (after she, wearing pajamas and no shoes, has found the one and only neighbor who answers the door at 8:15 on Saturday morning and sends her husband over to climb into an open second-story window) with her shoe in his mouth. (Dog)

On a happier note, the house sitter did enjoy an unlimited supply of Lucky Charms, as well as internet and laundry facilities and will be getting a nice check on Thursday. That's the thing about an ordeal; there's always a deal in there somewhere.