Please Buy My Stupid TV

I don't have a photo of my TV. Please enjoy this picture of a baby walrus.

I am desperately trying to get rid of my stupid TV. 

I purchased said stupid TV off of Craigslist five years ago, when I was young and naïve. Now I am older and wiser, and I want this brick of electronic annoyance out of my life. I am also moving, and I would rather fend off a small pack of miniature Italian greyhounds than lug this TV to Portland.  

About the TV: The TV is in fine working order. In fact it works perfectly, and I’ve had virtually no problems with it the entire time I’ve owned it. So why do I hate it so much? This TV weighs about as much as a baby walrus. 

When I purchased this TV, the near hobbit-sized man to whom I wrote the check lifted it effortlessly into my car. When my roommate and I got it back to our apartment, we nearly buckled under its weight as we carried it to the second story of our apartment building. Both of us had visions of dropping my Craigslist purchase down the concrete steps, smashing it to a million, slightly less heavy pieces. Luckily-- and amazingly-- this did not happen. We had to wait for a third friend to arrive before lifting the beast into the built-in entertainment center. And there it stayed until I moved to a new apartment. 

The following people have successfully lifted this TV: Iron Man competitors, REI employees, ex-military personnel, and that hobbit-sized guy who was moving back to Canada. That last one remains a mystery to me. 

The TV is a 27” flat-screen Insignia model from 2006. Don’t be fooled, as I once was, by the mention of “flat screen.”  While the screen is technically flat, the back protrudes awkwardly a good foot or so. It’s a bit like looking at a thin woman who, when she turns, reveals a tremendous backside. The J. Lo effect, if you will. I believe this is why the TV weighs as much as a flabby marine mammal. 

The future owner of this TV should be able to move it without any help from the seller. I simply cannot help you. When my kick-boxing instructor at the gym tells me to grab a heavy bar, I choose the 18 pounder. I also have bad shoulders. 

And because I am single and an opportunist, the buyer should preferably be an employed single male between the ages of 25 and 33, possess a witty sense of humor and possibly a beard. 

I'm asking for $25, or, honestly, if you can just come and take the thing away, that would be great. Please email for more information.  

See the actual Craigslist posting here:  http://bend.craigslist.org/ele/3801219787.html